Oreo Sugar Cookies…DO WHAT?

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She’s SUCH a tease.  She kept promising herself she’d quit making them think one thing and then turn around and do another.

It kept getting her into sticky situations where they demanded explanations that she either didn’t have or didn’t want to admit. And boy, if she wasn’t stuck know, she never had been.

See, she’d started out with the BEST of intentions.  She was going to show her best side. But, this time,  she’d gotten herself a wrapped up in one, big delicious mess.  The heat was up high, and she was melting inside.  Before she knew it, she was all kinds of done.

And then?

And then,  she was gone and there was NOTHING anyone could do.

Those cookies were eaten SO fast, I just couldn’t get a dern picture.  Hahahaha…

Sorry…{but keep reading, they’s some pictures on down thar}

First, the ingredients for THE best SOFT Sugar Cookie EVER. 

2/3 cup of butter flavored shortning {I know, heart attack city…but it’s soooooo worth it}
2/3 cup of butter {just in case you that heart attack hasn’t gotten you yet}
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla {PLEASE use real vanilla people, don’t be an imitator}
3 1/2 cups of Bread Flour  {makes super awesome cookies}
2 tsp Baking Powder
1 tsp salt

And, if you’ve never make cookies before, this is how you do it…

1. Preheat oven to 35o degrees F (that’s 175 degrees C, if your across the pond or down under or in Siberia, even}
2. Cream the butter, shortening and sugar, duh. 
3. Add eggs, one at a time.  Then add vanilla…REAL, remember?
4. Combine the flour, baking powder and salt.  Stir in to that awesome creamed mixture of sweet fluffy goodness.
5. Chill in the Refridgerator, the Fridge or the Koolshrank…whatever you call that really cold box with door that’s sittin’ in yur kitchen.  Heck, if you were here with me right now, you could sit it out on the front porch…except the deer might come wanderin’ up fo’ a little bit.

Hey, You. Yes, You. The one’s out there making “REINDEER FOOD” with their kids so the “REINDEER” can come and visit?

DO WHAT?

Have you lost YO’ MIND? Do you really want the “REINDEER” ta git all nice an’ comfy in yo’ yard an’ on yo’ porch? ‘Cuz they’re gonna…

A. EAT ALL OF YO’ PANSIES and

B. POOP ALL over YO’ YARD

Not to mention they have TICKS. Ticks that spread diseases. Diseases that I would like to keep AWAY from my chillren…

So keep dat Oatmeal in da’ box up in yo’ messy kitchen cupboard. And let those purdy “Reindeer” look purdy from afar…

Dat way, when yo’ sittin’ in the doctor’s office and yo’ entire family is ill with Lyme Disease, you won’t have to hear the doctor say,

DO WHAT?

O.k. Now back to the cookies…

Take that lovely, soft sugar cookie and scoop it out in ball..roll ‘em around and make ‘em all nice and smooth.

Then SMASH ‘em. That’s the fun part fo’ any kid ‘a any age… In fact, I made my kids go ta their rooms, so I could make these in peace. I just wasn’t in the mood to be all “good mommy”… I wanted to make these by myself without having to be patient and nice. Sue me.

THEN, here comes the good part.

Sick an OREO cookie up on top of that dough. MMMM….

Then scoop out another ball, round it, smush it, and cover up that OREO like it was a pig in a wooly blanket.

And here’s where it went all wrong.  Those stinkin’ cookies were gone before I could turn on my ITC Hero “camera”.

So I guess, yur gonna have to go and watch The Salvage Collection’s Christmas Mad Lib and watch me eat one right in front of you…

Or you could be really lucky and have a nice friend who brings you totally awesome array of homemade treats…

The Gingerbread Man almost didn’t make it into the picture, but I thought better and let him have his 15 seconds of fame…albeit, minus one foot.

But, right after this picture, he was blissfully sent on his merry way…to my stomach.

So, there you have it.  Sorry to be such a tease.  Go watch that video.  I even drizzled them with some Ghirardelli Milk Chocolate.  MMMMMM…..

Thanks so much for reading my blog. You coulda been makin’ these cookies…

Oh, and be a SUPER COOL Kid and Comment.  How else am I gonna know you were up in da’ howse?