Here’s a quick look at this episode:
In this episode, we’re talking about the best and most effective way to raise your self-confidence. When you become insanely good at what you do, your self-confidence will follow.
You’ll also learn the 10 steps of Brendon Burchard’s path to mastery.
You’re listening to the Always Brighter eBiz Podcast, Episode 3!
I’m your host, Gwen Whitfield, from alwaysbrighter.com where we’re helping heart-driven, mindful creatives build radiant brands, beautiful websites and amazing lives.
Today on the podcast we’re talking about getting insanely good at your thing OR the power of competence.
So, in episode 2, I said we’d be talking about the best way to conquer fear and raise your confidence level. I can say by experience that getting insanely good at whatever you want to do is the key. Now this might seem like a super simple and obvious realization but for me it took some knocks over the head to realize this little aha moment.
If you listened to episode 1, you’ll remember that I spent some time struggling with anxiety and my health. That’s very true, but I was also dealing with some serious confidence issues surrounding my ability to teach theme customization for WordPress. Way back in 2015, I actually started a site called DIY Web Launch, where I was planning on doing something very similar to what I am doing now. I created an introductory course teaching how to set up a wordpress website and launched to a very small list.
Once I launched that free course, I got super stuck. I had so much resistance around blogging about tech stuff and I just couldn’t get moving. I couldn’t understand why and I finally just took that site down, hanging my head in shame and sadness at my inability to overcome my fears.
I felt like a big, fat loser. A total failure.
It wasn’t until I read Brendon Buchard’s book, High Performance Habits, (which we’re going to do a totally separate episode of btw) that the load of bricks dropped on my head waking me up to my problem.
I believe that we can’t hear something until we are ready to hear it and when I read his chapter on Increase Productivity where he says to get insanely good at key skills did I realize what was causing me to freeze up and melt down.
Have you ever tried to do something you knew you could do, but just were so afraid you didn’t know enough to be truly effective?
That’s exactly what I was going through. I knew enough plenty to put a course together on WordPress but I couldn’t escape the feeling that I just didn’t know enough. You see, I had started studying the coding language PHP a few years ago, but got totally sidetracked and let it go. And I just never felt truly competent and for me, feeling competent is part of my DNA.
You see, I had this huge problem. All of my life, I have been super competitive. So competitive that if I didn’t think I could win or be the best, I wouldn't even try. And when I did try and fell on my face, I was wracked with shame and disappointment.
In college, I was studying to be an Opera singer. When I was a sophomore, I was at a regional singing competition and I had chosen to sing Je veux vivre, an aria from Romeo and Juliet by Charles Gounod. The beginning of the aria is a series of half steps that I constantly struggled with in practice, and totally didn’t feel comfortable with, but my voice teacher really wanted me to sing this aria. Well, at this particular NATS competition, I started the aria, sang the opening part with all those little half steps and when the actual aria started, I realized that I had gone about a half step too much. I stood there singing completely mortified in my head watching the horrible, twisted looks on the judges faces. OMGSH. It was so embarrassing. I stopped singing and we popped back to the beginning without the half steps and I started over, completing the aria while trying to hold back a rushing river of tears.
From that day, I had horrible audition fright. Every now and then I could rally myself through it, place in the finals and even win the Senior Division my last year, but it was so bad that I couldn’t bring myself to go audition for graduate school. I don’t regret not going, but there is always a little bit of “what if” in the back of my mind.
If that sounds like you at all, nod your head with me right now. I had this weirdo notion that if I wasn’t naturally gifted at something, or it didn’t come super easy, then I couldn’t or shouldn’t do or be that thing.
Oh, how wrong I was. If you have a true interest in something, or are drawn to something, you just have to practice what Brendon calls progressive mastery. DUH. The funny thing is, in retrospect, I can see that I was doing just that with my voice, but the trauma of the audition stayed with me and it never occurred to me to get help with that! Thankfully, I’ve grown so much since those days! Now, I understand what I need to do and am actively taking steps towards my dreams.
So, in regards to this code stuff, I have taken several courses on PHP and now I feel like I have the understanding and deeper knowledge I need to FEEL competent. And guess what?
My confidence has increased ten fold. And that confidence leads to productivity.
As Brendan says, to become more productive, become more competent. Now, there is a little danger here. If you aren’t careful you can use this “becoming competent” as an avoidance technique to keep from moving forward. I’ve seen myself do that in my mind. And that is why, though I am still learning more code, because let’s face it, no developer ever stops learning, I am moving forward with my business at the same time. It’s a delicate balance, but one that can be figured out by just putting yourself out there.
Really quickly, I’d like to share Brendan’s path to Progressive Mastery.
Determine a skill that you want to master.
Set specific stretch goals on your path to developing that skill.
Attach high levels of emotion and meaning to your journey and your results.
Identify the factors critical to success, and develop your strengths in those areas (and fix your weaknesses with equal fervor).
Develop visualizations that clearly imagine what success and failure look like.
Schedule challenging practices developed by experts or through careful thought.
Measure your progress and get outside feedback.
Socialize your learning and efforts by practicing or competing with others.
Continue setting higher-level goals so that you keep improving.
Teach others what you are learning.
Now that’s a lot to unpack, I know, so if you want to go deeper and understand what he is saying, you have got to read the book, HIgh Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard. I’ll be sure to put a link to his book on amazon in the show notes for this episode.
It’s probably the best book on habits or personal development/productivity I have ever read.
So that’s it for Episode 3. It was short I know, but packed with some powerful ideas.
Now it’s time to take some action. What area of your business or life do you need more confidence, i.e, competence in? Pop over to the blog and let me know down in the comments below the show notes what your want to gain competence in, and use that action to commit today to attaining mastery in that area!
Thanks so much for listening and I’ll see you in the next episode!
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