Here’s a quick look at this episode:
In this episode, we’re talking about resistance. I’ll share my personal experience with a specific time where I’ve struggled with it, and the one sentence that popped into my head that helped me move through it.
We’re talking about resilience and perseverance and why they’re so special.
Episodes mentioned in the show
- #2: Why Self-Compassion is so important
- #7: Harnessing the Chatter
- #17: Wow! Goals
- #18: Moving Through the Fear
Well hello there! Welcome back to the redefining Bold podcast. You're listening to episode number 21 and I'm your host Gwen Whitfield from theboldabode.com, where I guide warm-hearted women in their quest for a more organized, cleaner home and a more productive and vibrant life.
Resistance. Why when we want to do something that we really want to do, like, we believe and dream and know we want to do it, why do we still experience resistance?
I've been asking myself this week as I've been working on the effortlessly clean home e-book. I have created this book, in order to bring tremendous value into the lives of those who struggle with consistently cleaning their home, like I have, yet I still have this resistance to finally launching it.
And so I had to dig deep this week to face while I was feeling this sense of resistance and not wanting to follow through all of the way.
So many things that come into play here, past experience with launching products, fear of the unknown, what will happen? Will anyone like it? Will anyone buy it?
These types of things. In episode, 18, I talked about letting go of the results and, instead, focusing on the process. Often times our fear of the result is the core issue with resistance. But Acknowledging this fear and letting it go, is a big part of overcoming these types of resistances.
I'm working really hard and consistently, more consistently than I ever have in my business. And I'm pouring my heart and my soul into helping you create the life that you really want to have, as I create the life that I really want to have.
But the truth is even we get so much better at doing things like having self compassion which I talked about an episode Number 2, harnessing the chatter in your mind like I talked about episode number 7, and creating Wow! goals like I talked about in episode number 17, there are still times when we experience all of these same issues, like the resistance that I have been feeling this week.
I love what Marie Forleo says, and if you're an online business person, I'm sure you know who she is but if you're not she is basically the online business guru. She's also very generous and kind hearted and compassionate and really does everything from her heart. And it shows.
What she says is this: “There has never been and never will be another you. You have a purpose – a very special gift that only you can bring to the world.”
So as I was talking to my friend, Lindsey, who also happens to be an Enneagram nine and my accountability partner, as i was talking through this feeling of resistance I was having, a thought popped into my head and it said,
“SUCK IT UP, BUTTERCUP!”
Suck it up buttercup. Not only did that say everything I needed to say to myself, but it also made me laugh.
Because all of the reasons I was giving to myself for not doing what I REALLY WNATED to be doing, ALL OF THE REASONS were absolutely trivial and pointless and focusing on the future, which I can't control. All of these things that I've been working hard to heal from and move through.
So that one little line made me realized how silly I was being.
Sometimes it only takes just a small moment, a quick flash of light in the mind, to change everything.
Have you ever had a friend come to you and complain about their life, or their lack of exercise, or of a relationship that is toxic or failure to stay committed to a healthier way of eating… or something else that they say they want to do, and inside your head you're just like, oh my gosh just do it already!
Stop complaining about it, if you really wanted to lose weight or exercise or find a new job, you would do it you wouldn't just sit there and whine and moan.
But what happens when you realize that you're doing that to yourself? You're wallowing in the things that you're afraid of, when there's so much more you could be doing. And by doing this whatever it is, your life is going to be better, or you gonna learn some thing, are you going to grow or you're gonna find out that you don't like the thing you think you want to do.
Because if you don't do it, oh my, how are you ever going to know if you don't want to do it. Geez.
This negativity bias, that we all are born with and grow up with and is overly developed in our lives, it can rear its ugly head at any moment in any time. The difference between someone who is positive and successful in life, and someone who can't seem to get their butt off the couch, it's just as simple as this:
SUCK IT UP, BUTTERCUP.
This kind of goes back to where I talked about parenting yourself in episode number six, if you have kids, and they complain about doing stuff, do you ever hear yourself saying, “ JUST DO IT ALREADY! The time you spent worrying about it you could've had it done by now.”
And so having that perspective, that immediate shift, turned everything around and now I'm doing what I need to do this week. Instead of spending time wallowing in an elaborate pity party, I was able to, in a matter of hours (rather than days) get back on track.
And that is the beauty of all of the work. If you put the work in, it doesn't mean that you're going to be automatically cured of all the struggles that you've ever had. When you put the work in, it doesn't mean that your life is going to be perfect or fantas-mi-tastical. When you put the work in, it doesn't mean that everything will always fall into place just the way you want it.
When you put the work in here's what will happen:
You will have a set of tools to turn to when you need them.
You will be able to make the shifts faster and faster as time goes on.
You will become more attentive to the things that you're telling yourself in your mind and be able to catch yourself much more quickly when you hear that negativity bias in your head.
You will have the perspective of where you once were to where you are now.
You will become your biggest cheerleader and have more and more resilience.
This resilience, this is what every parent wants for their child. To be able to face life’s challenges, and come out the other side healthy and whole and strong.
And when we think of this resilience as a muscle, we work to build it. As life tries to tear us down, puts up 6 foot hurdles in front of us, yet we keep running the race before us, the fibers of our being knit back together and build a sturdier, more capable version of who we were before.
And there's something powerful about perseverance. When we consistently take step forwards, and we work through the difficult things in our life, the things that we find resistance around, and we do persevere, that feeds our self-confidence and our self-worth.
I don't know about you, but I could use a little bit more of that in my life. Shoring up ourselves on the inside, makes us ready not just face what is set before us, but to shine through it.
So today I want to leave you with this quote from Michael Jordan:
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
so “suck it up buttercup” move past the thinking and get to the doing.
Now for your challenge this week: Pick one thing you’ve been putting off, but want to do, and tell yourself to suck it up and do it!
Thanks so much for listening and I’ll see you in the next episode!
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