Here’s a quick look at this episode:
In this episode, we’re talking about self-talk!
The words we use to ourselves, about ourselves has a direct impact on our lives.
Well hello there! Welcome back to the redefining Bold podcast. You're listening to episode number 30 and I'm your host Gwen Whitfield from theboldabode.com, where I help warm-hearted women take small steps toward positive lasting change!
What a week! I’m writing this the Monday after the U.S. Inauguration of President Biden and I have to admit, I was pretty preoccupied last Wednesday.
No matter where you land politically, it was an historic event as the first woman, and woman of color, was inaugurated to the office of Vice President!
It was exciting for women everywhere. And I think that after Wednesday, I was left with post inauguration wipe out.
I have to be honest, Saturday especially was a VERY low energy day. I slept great Friday night and well into Saturday morning but once I got up, I just was pretty flat.
I ended up Nining out all day. That’s what I call when I succumb to my enneagram nine-ness. If you’re not sure what I’m talking about with the Enneagram, you can go listen to episode #10!
Nines often withdraw and isolate when they aren’t feeling well, and that’s what I fell into.
But it’s ok. Because I have a secret weapon that helps me when I feel like this. It helps me actually protect my mental health, which is a big leap forward for this little 9.
You see, I’ve learned a very, very, very important lesson.
Words matter…. especially the words we use for and to ourselves.
On Sunday, I posted a simple post on instagram that said,
This is the caption that I used:
The words we use matter! The number one thing that has changed in my life is how I talk to myself.
For years I would put myself down, and call myself names that I would never call anyone else.
“I’m such an idiot!"
“Oh my gosh, I’m so fat!"
"I'm so stupid!"
That kind of talk was very harmful and kept me in states of depression and anxiety.
I had a yoga teacher, who taught a mantra when we were in a tough yin yoga pose.
And that mantra was,
"My darling, I am here for you.”
That simple mantra not only changed the way I thought about how I talk to myself, it changed the way I felt about myself.
I’m not perfect, but I’m not an idiot. I’m not Einstein, but I’m not stupid.
Being kind to myself? Such a simple thing, but it has lifted me out the darkness to a new way of living.
So, if you say mean things to and about yourself, I challenge you today to go to the mirror, look at yourself, and say…
And see how that feels.
That little mantra taught me so much. Have you ever heard something… something small that made a HUGE impact on your life?
That mantra was the beginning of a journey of self-compassion that has truly changed how I think, feel and most importantly, TALK to myself.
There is so much we deal with in life. So many bullies out there, especially on social media. I’ve been watching a show on TLC called, My big, fat fabulous life.
It’s about a woman named Whitney Way Thore, a plus-sized dancer, who has PCOS, Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, which caused her to gain an enormous amount of weight her first year of college. The show follows her journey as she seeks to build her No Body Shame Campaign.
Even though she struggles to stay healthy and with the idea of losing weight, she perseveres though all the bullying she experiences as a result of being a thought-leader for the Body Positivity movement.
Man, people can be so mean. Cruel. Unbelievably so.
So, how much more important then is it that we are kind to ourselves? Because when we develop that truly kind inner dialogue, we have the ability to navigate the world in a very different way.
Even though most of us are not putting ourselves out there in the same way that Whitney does, right there on TV for all the world to see and judge, we still face insecurity and self-doubt.
I know I deal with it on a weekly, if not daily basis.
The big difference is… I now have some very concrete tools to support myself when I experience the reality of it.
And so, as I vegged out on Saturday, my inner voice became my support and solace instead of my worst critic.
Instead of calling myself “lazy”, I gave myself permission to take rest.
Instead of beating myself up for not being productive, I allowed myself time to rejuvenate my spirit.
Instead of feeling like a lost cause, I told myself, “this will pass and Gwen…you’ll have more energy in the days to come”.
And I do. Today, I feel awake and alert and I’m here sharing this process, this experience with you.
If you are like me, you NEED rest. You NEED down time. You NEED days to re-group.
Things still got done. Just on Sunday.
And instead of feeling miserable about myself, I take solace in the knowing of myself. And the knowing of myself opens up avenues for greater growth and deeper insight.
In German, there is a phrase “Mache eine Pause”.
That means, Take a Pause.
So, get to know yourself. If you need a break, take a break but as you take your break, be kind to yourself about it.
The words we use to and for ourselves MATTER.
Thanks so much for listening and I’ll catch you in the next episode!
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