Here’s a quick look at this episode:
In this episode we’re talking about:
- How our minds are programmed from early on
- What you can do to combat the negativity bias by noticing it
- How to argue with yourself to change your mindset and your life
Hi there! This is episode #4 of the Redefining Bold Podcast. I’m your host Gwen Whitfield from theboldabode.com, where I guide warm-hearted women in their quest for a more organized, cleaner home and a more productive and vibrant life.
Today on the Redefining Bold Podcast, I’m going to challenge you do something you may have never done intentionally before.
Now, we’ve already talked about things like cultivating self-compassion and chasing the feeling in episodes 2 and 3, but as we go along this journey with ourselves and creating a life we love, there are going to be times when we fall into old habits.
Habits that have been there for years and years and are really hard to change. The thought patterns that we developed early on stay with us until we choose to address them head on.
There are some days, particularly hard hormonal days, when I feel like my thoughts are on a spin cycle and I just can’t calm them down. I don’t know where the negativity is coming from, other than what Rick Hanson calls the “negativity bias”, where we are programmed as humans to see the bad stuff.
But it drives me nuts. I don’t want to think or tell myself that i’m stupid or ugly or fat or unworthy, but sometimes those ideas flit into my head before I even realize it. I mean, I grew up with three older sisters and watched as they daily berated themselves in the mirror. I learned to do it to myself and it is one very hard habit to break.
But there is hope.
Other wise, what’s the dang point?
So, here’s what I’m doing when I notice those ridiculous thoughts. Now, these are the thoughts that are ridiculous that I’m talking about. Not the ones that are constructive and help you make decisions.
These are the thoughts that are tearing you down and creating unnecessary emotional pain for you in your life.
So, let’s take one thought, “I’m just not smart enough to be my own boss”.
Say that thought pops into you head one day when your sitting in the bathroom minding your own business.
and you notice it. And you get curious.
Where the heck did that come from?
And here’s the real power.
Tell that thought that it’s wrong.
Yeah. And maybe go even a little bit further.
If some troll said that to you on an instagram post, how would you reply. Like for real reply and not ignore it. Like what would you really want to say if you could let loose and not look like an angry reactionist?
Maybe something like this:
What the heck are you talking about? I’m smart. I have good sense and good judgment. I am passionate about my business and can learn how to do anything I need to make it a success. In fact, that’s the entire key…. being willing to learn and doing it. I’m a good learner, a fast learner and I’m willing to put in the work and be consistent. So stop telling me that I’m not smart enough because if I don’t know something, I’m dedicated to figuring it out!
How was that? Pretty great huh? In fact, I feel pretty awesome just speaking that out loud.
there is something incredibly powerful when you can first, recognize those limiting and degrading thoughts and then
ARGUE WITH THEM.
Be your own advocate against the spin cycle in your mind. when you tell that dark matter in your heart that you believe in yourself and that you are good enough, it will shrink and shrink and shrink and shrink.
Will those kinds of thoughts ever completely go away?
I really hope so, but I think that they just happen. We’re human.
But they can get fewer and farther between. And less harmful and less painful.
So get argumentative. Bet no one has ever said that to you before, eh?
Be your own advocate with your own mind.
Someone very wise, aka anonymous, said this:
“Exactly in the place where he has to fight battles with himself, there he will find his greatness.”
So today, fight that battle within and find your greatness!
Thanks so much for listening and I’ll see you next time on The Redefining Bold Podcast!
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