Here’s a quick look at this episode:
There are times in life when we need to take a break. And we often criticize ourselves for doing so.
In this episode, I’m sharing the importance of taking the time we need when life calls for a pause and how to do so gracefully.
Episodes mentioned in the show
Well hello there! Welcome back to the redefining Bold podcast. You're listening to episode number 24 and I'm your host Gwen Whitfield from theboldabode.com, where I guide warm-hearted women in their quest for a more organized, cleaner home and a more productive and vibrant life.
So as I sit here in my office, writing this episode, I'm looking out across the bird sanctuary onto our old street. If you have been listening to the podcast, you'll notice that I took a small break, which turned into a large break because of our move.
After two years of living in a third-floor apartment, dealing with maintenance coming in and out of our home every couple of months to change the air filters and check the smoke alarms, I truly had had enough.
In July, the management company sent us a renewal offer for our lease, they were very kind and did not raise the rent, I'm sure because of the pandemic and the uncertainty for a lot of people with their jobs and their financial situation's. I thought that was a very, what's the right word, aware of them.
But as we began contemplating signing this lease, I just felt this drive to see what else was out there. What could we do, and get out of climbing two huge flights of stairs with bags and bags of groceries.
Long story short, we found a great loan officer and we found a great property, in our old neighborhood, and here we are. If you haven't been listening to previous episodes, two years ago we sold our home that we lived in for nine years, and paid off a tremendous amount of debt and we're basically starting over. We have a senior in college and a sophomore in high school and we wanted to be able to provide for them without drowning financially.
BRENDAN our youngest, is a swimmer in fact, and that sport, though it seems like it would be an expensive, it's definitely not. There's a lot of travel involved and his championship tech suits can run upwards of $400. It's not cheap, but Brendan's drive and talent are such that we want to do everything we can to support his future and swimming. In fact this weekend he broke two team records, the 50 free and the hundred fly. And he's getting very close to junior national time standards. It's something that I promised myself when I had kids, that if they had something they really loved and wanted to do that we would do everything we could to support that.
oh, but That’s not really what I wanted to talk about today. I just felt like I needed to give some background and kind of remind you where we are and what we've been doing. It's been a while, hasn’t it? it's been over two months since I posted a podcast episode. We were planning on closing October 30, but there were a few bumps in the road, mostly because of the pandemic and the amount of workload our loan officer had in our mortgage company had, it's really incredible how busy they were. So our loan closing was put off by a week, and we ended up closing on November 6th. We moved most of our stuff in that weekend with the help of some college age swimmers who came to our rescue at the last minute. Oh my gosh, we could never have done this move without them.
When I wrote my last newsletter, I intended only I'm taking two weeks off and be right back with you around mid November. Obviously that did not happen. We actually got everything moved in that week, but we had some work to do on our apartment getting it cleaned and ready for inspection.
During this time I have to admit I feel like I zoned out a little bit in terms of this podcast and my business. And as I was talking to my accountability partner, I mentioned one day that I really needed just to have some permission to pause. As a nine on the Enneagram it's often frustrating to be so low energy, and to find myself withdrawing under stress. And I'm working on that. But sometimes when life gets to be a lot, we have to stop for a moment and allow ourselves to breathe, even if it takes weeks longer than we had intended. So instead of feeling the guilt of leaving you hanging for longer than I wanted, I took the time off that I needed, and like I talk about an episode number two, gave myself a LOT of compassion.
As much as I love talking to you and sharing my experience of life and how are moving towards health, I needed that break. And getting angry or getting frustrated with myself, for not living up to my own expectations, it's not going to help anyone. And so by letting go, and giving myself this permission to take a break, this permission to pause, it allowed me to A) Take care of my home in my family, and get everything unpacked and decorated for Christmas. And B) Perhaps learn a thing or two in my own life that I could bring to this podcast and share with you.
As a nine, when we are healthy, we move towards three, which are the achievers. When we are healthy, we are to able to accomplish amazing things, things that come from a grounded and pure place. But also as a Nine, juggling multiple, stressful events in life are not necessarily my forte. And so by stepping back, and taking care of what was most important to me at that time, has not just been the right decision, but a necessary one.
It's OK to take a break. It's OK to step back, and reassess, and take care of what needs to be taken care of. Because when we put pressure on ourselves to perform in a way that feels contrary to our inner being, that's where the guilt comes from and the devastating self criticism comes from. And that is not helpful at all.
I'm not saying that we shouldn't push through difficult things and difficult times. But I am saying that it's important to know yourself. To know how you react to stressful times and stressful situations. I know that as a nine, I tend to withdraw and on the surface I feel like that is what was happening as I took a longer break than I needed to, but being aware of this tendency was truly a first and very illuminating for me. Because in the past, I might would have never come back and written another podcast. There was a part of me that was enjoying the break so much, that I wanted to just let go of it all and just be a mom and homemaker again.
And as I was contemplating that decision, I realize that I was beginning to feel a little bit helpless. I was starting to feel like I didn't have any control over myself or what was happening in my life, which was a severely distorted perspective.
And as I was actually, literally able to define how I was feeling for myself, I realize that it was important that I do something proactive to feel like I had some control. And when I started to look at how I was behaving and responding to life, I realized honestly that I hadn't been exercising. And that morning I decided it was time to exercise, and I got up and I put my workout clothes on and I did a workout video.
I talk more about how important exercise is for me in episode 14: Girl, move your butt! And it's true. Exercise for me as a lifeline to mental health. And getting up and exercising, changed everything for me. It was like an immediate reset button. And I realized that I do want to continue this journey and this podcast and, hopefully bring light and valuable insight to the world. I know when I hear other people talk about where they are in life and how they handle the day to day, it encourages and inspires me. And if I can do that for even one person, I know that my life's purpose is unfolding.
So thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening to this episode. As a Nine, I often feel invisible and of little value. And it truly, always catches me by surprise when someone emails me and thanks me, or talks to me about some thing that I have published, or tells me about how one episode has encouraged them.
Every download I see in my hosting platform, is like a little thank you.
And so thank you.
So that’s where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing and how I made my way through this time!
I hope you have a great week and I will see you in episode number 25.
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