She squared off in her corner and eyed her gargantuan opponent from across the ring. They sized each other up, down, left, right, inside and out. Oh, perhaps, the other fighter was stockier, huskier, taller and, overall, a prickly sort of opponent.
She, however, she was quicker and faster on her feet, crafty and cunning. The kind of intelligent fighter that observes first and pummels later.
The bell rang, and round and round they went. First a left hook, then a right. An uppercut, and then a jab to the kidneys. But, she knew how important her determination would be. She would best this Lurch-girl and overcome. Even if she had to take her outside in the parkin’ lot and make her see white lights.
And that’s just what she did. She drug her out on the front porch and put her in her rightful place. The Tree, that is. That beautiful, live, Christmas Pine that thought she could just assault me and get away with it.
Ha, ha. The jokes on her.
So, what? So I had to put her outside cuz she was wreckin’ havoc on my sinuses.
I knew I had allergies, but good lawdie, great Maudie! The snifflin’ I can tolerate, but the Nose Faucet starts to annoy me. Howevah, Eyes startin’ ta swell…that’s when the fight gets moved outside. I cain’t go around lookin’ like I been stung by fiddy bees in my ocular devices… Not to mention the 24 hour up-all-night session I’ve been workin’.
So, I duuno what I’ma do with all those purdy decorations I bought. Take ‘em back? Save ’em? Make my sweet man go buy me a fakey tree to decorate?
Blurg and Bah-humbug.
What would you do?